Finding Flow: Reclaiming Your Time
In a world that often feels like it’s spinning too fast, we hear a common refrain: “I’m so busy.” It’s almost a badge of honour, isn’t it? But when was the last time you met someone who said they had too much time on their hands? The truth is, our relationship with time is often dictated by the stories we tell ourselves.
The Busy Trap
Many of us are trapped in a cycle of our own self talk:
I am so busy.
I am so tired (because I am so busy).
Because I am so busy, I must be very important. (Hello, ego!)
I like being busy because it makes me feel like I’m contributing/important. (More ego!)
This mindset not only drains our energy but also leads to multitasking and constant context switching - behaviours that increase our stress rather than reduce it. If you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of work, family, and social commitments, it’s time to hit the reset button. Here are some tips and insights I’ve found helpful in creating a sense of flow and balance in my daily life.
Start with Your Mindset
Take ten minutes to consider the narrative you’ve constructed around your busyness. Ask yourself:
Is this story inherited? Did your parents have the same story?
Is this how your friends talk? Is the office culture all about being busy?
Changing your story requires intention and bravery. Begin by changing how you communicate your busyness:
Instead of saying, “I’m so busy,” try:
“I’m great! I’m really looking forward to some ‘insert hobby’ tennis / golf / night out at the weekend.”
“I’m good—plenty on, but I’m managing it well.”
Or, if you’re feeling bold: “Fantastic! I have a lovely balance right now.”
I always use one of the above even if it’s not completely true. I find it helps bring me back to where I want to be, more balanced more inflow.
Clarify Your Values
Before diving into prioritisation techniques (and there are plenty!), take a moment to clarify your values. Understanding what truly matters to you - whether it’s family, health, career, or creativity - knowing what truly matters will guide you in determining your priorities and then motivate you to sticking to them.
Write down your values, then identify the actions that align with them. This clarity is essential for effective prioritisation.
Prioritise Effectively
Now that you know your values, it’s time to prioritise your tasks. There are countless tools available - books, apps, and social media resources - all designed to help manage your to-do list. But before you get lost in the myriad of methods, remember:
Identify your values.
From your values, clarify your life priorities (Mine are Family, Health, Friends and Work)
With this foundation, you can choose the prioritisation tools that resonate most with you and your lifestyle.
Shift Your Self-Talk
Our internal dialogue can be one of our greatest obstacles. When overwhelmed, replace negative self-talk with this empowering phrase:
“I have all the time in the world to do what I need to do.”
This simple shift can help transform your mindset from feeling like a victim of your circumstances to taking control and focussing on your prioritised activities.
Get Over Yourself
Lastly, let’s talk about the ego. Sometimes, it’s beneficial to step back and recognise that the world won’t stop spinning if you take a break.
In his book, Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman claims that humans make themselves miserable by mistakenly believing they should be able to get through all their tasks, to-dos, and chores in the time they’ve allotted them.
The reality is that no matter what time management solutions they implement, humans will never have perfect control over how they spend their time. Instead, people must accept that they’ll never get as much done as they’d like and work within the parameters of a finite life.
The key insight, however for me from his book was Burkeman’s discussion on our cosmic insignificance. He argues that while our new age belief is that our life has some cosmically significant life purpose which the universe is longing for us to discover and then fulfil. He shares a blunt but unexpectedly liberating truth which is that what you do with your life doesn’t matter all that much and that the universe could care less. He brings the point home by pointing out that it is likely implausible for most people to be a Michelangelo and that’s ok.
Embracing Your Time
Finding balance in our busy lives is an ongoing journey. By reshaping our mindset, clarifying our values, prioritising effectively, and getting over ourselves, we can reclaim our time and truly feel in flow.
So the next time someone asks how you’re doing, consider sharing a narrative that reflects your newfound thinking - ‘I have all the time in the world to do what I need to do’. You might just inspire someone else to rethink their own relationship with time.