Let Them
Last week, I had the pleasure of listening to Let Them by Mel Robbins, and I can confidently say - it was fantastic. Narrated by Mel herself, the audiobook felt like a conversation with a good friend. Mel’s humour, self-deprecating charm, and knack for storytelling made it an engaging and relatable listen. Mel’s energy is infectious, and while she’s brimming with enthusiasm, I found the book refreshingly down-to-earth and honest.
I’ll admit, I was sceptical at first. Could an entire book really be built around the Let Them theory? Turns out, it can - and then some. While the Let Them concept is the foundation, Mel weaves in so many valuable insights that made this book a true gem.
Key Takeaways
1. Let Them
The core of the book is simple but profound: Let them. It’s about releasing the weight of caring too much about what others think or do. People’s opinions and actions are beyond your control, so why let them dictate how you live your life? Instead of trying to please or micromanage everyone around you, the best thing you can do is… let them.
2. Let Me
Once you’ve mastered letting them, Mel encourages us to shift our focus inward: Let me. Instead of wasting time and energy worrying about others, channel it into what you can control - your actions, your mindset, and your choices. This mindset shift is empowering and liberating, reminding us to prioritise what truly matters: our own growth and happiness.
3. Adult Relationships: The Big Three
Mel dives into the dynamics of adult relationships and how they evolve differently from the ones we form in school or college. For me, this section was eye-opening. She breaks it down into three key factors that determine whether adult friendships thrive:
Energy: The natural chemistry you feel with certain people.
Proximity: Regular interactions build connection - if you see someone often and enjoy their energy, you’re more likely to form a bond.
Time: The stage of life you’re in plays a huge role. You tend to connect more deeply with people going through similar experiences, whether that’s dating, raising young kids, or navigating a second career or retirement.
This insight allowed me to reflect on some of my relationships and now understand better why some have flourished while others have naturally drifted apart.
4. Change Comes from Within
Mel reminds us of something we all know but sometimes forget: people only change when they’re ready and motivated to do so. No amount of worrying, nagging, or trying to “fix” someone will make a difference until they choose to change themselves. It’s a valuable lesson in letting go of unnecessary frustration and moving our focus from what’s essentially not our business to what we can control.
5. Not Your Responsibility
Another powerful takeaway: it’s not your job to accommodate, apologise for, or fix another adult’s poor behaviour. This one hit home for me. Too often, we take on the burden of smoothing over others’ mistakes or making excuses for them. Mel’s message is clear: that’s not your responsibility. Let them own their actions, and free yourself from the emotional responsibility of doing it for them.
Final Thoughts
Let Them is more than just a book about caring less - it’s a practical guide to reclaiming your energy, setting boundaries, and living life on your terms. Mel’s relatable storytelling and actionable advice make it a must-read (or must-listen) for anyone who feels bogged down by the expectations or behaviours of others.
If you’re looking for a book that will empower you to let go, refocus, and embrace what truly matters, Let Them should be at the top of your list. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most freeing thing you can do is… let them. And in doing so, let yourself.